How to Influence a Narcissist: Mindset (Part 1 of 5)

Leading executive coach Connie Dieken shares how to influence a narcissist in part one of this series.

Ready for a new approach to the challenging person in your life? As the year ended, I launched a series on narcissism. You discovered tips on how to identify a narcissist. Now let’s turn to solutions so the person will stop upending your leadership, work, or family.

You might be thinking, “I’ll just cut them out of my life!”

That’s ideal if there’s no collateral damage. But chances are, you didn’t invite the narcissist into your life—you’re likely entangled with them through work or family. Which means you need to find solutions to influence their behavior when you’re around them.

I see this every day as an executive coach. Narcissists get under everyone’s skin, even the C-Suite executives that I advise.

So let’s start with your mindset. Begin by reframing. Tip #1: Don’t “cope with” the narcissist’s behavior—MANAGE it.

Coping and managing are two fundamentally different mindsets. Coping makes you the narcissist’s victim, even if you outrank them. Managing puts you in charge of yourself and how you experience the relationship.

Managing the relationship transforms you from the backseat to the driver’s seat where you can influence positive change.

In the posts that follow, you’ll discover the specific guidance that our research at The Influence Lab has uncovered on how to manage the egotist in your life.

P.S. I wrote about this extensively in my last book, “Become the Real Deal: The Proven Path to Influence and Executive Presence.” My mentor, Marshall Goldsmith, wrote the foreword.

I just noticed it’s on sale on Amazon if you need a deeper dive:

See you in the next post!

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Globally recognized as the leading voice in leadership influence, Connie Dieken helps C-suite and senior executives use scientific insights to elevate their influence and presence.


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