{"id":5137,"date":"2013-08-02T15:43:10","date_gmt":"2013-08-02T20:43:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/"},"modified":"2013-08-02T15:43:10","modified_gmt":"2013-08-02T20:43:10","slug":"narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/","title":{"rendered":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The news is full of people who are\u00a0<em>full of themselves<\/em>: Mayoral wanna-be and serial sexter Anthony Weiner, San Diego mayor and alleged serial pervert Bob Filner, sports legend and alleged performance enhancer Alex Rodriguez \u2026 and former bus driver-turned abuser Ariel Castro.<\/p>\n<p>A bus driver? We\u2019ve come to expect narcissism from high profile politicians and athletes, but a former school bus driver from a run-down home? Castro\u2019s egotism has thrown many for a loop.<\/p>\n<p>Not judge Michael Russo, who nailed it when he called Castro an \u201cextreme narcissist\u201d before sentencing him to life plus 1,000 years for kidnapping and padlocking three women in his home and abusing them for more than a decade.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re living in a narcissistic nation. Many people want to explain self-centered behavior by pointing fingers at a younger generation whom experts say have been coddled by their parents.<\/p>\n<p>I believe the issue is far broader than that. As an executive coach, I see the fall-out of what I call \u201c<em>The Egotist\u2019s<\/em>\u201d behavior every day in corporations around the globe. The behaviors are more commonplace than most people realize. I\u2019ll bet your life has been upended by someone who displays these behaviors:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>A grandiose sense of self-importance<\/li>\n<li>A sense of entitlement<\/li>\n<li>Impulsiveness<\/li>\n<li>An insensitivity to others<\/li>\n<li>A craving for admiration<\/li>\n<li>A preoccupation with power<\/li>\n<li>A lack of empathy<\/li>\n<li>A judgmental, critical attitude<\/li>\n<li>A belief that the rules don\u2019t apply to them<\/li>\n<li>Explosive anger when frustrated<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>The Egotist<\/em>\u00a0is not the real deal. Oh, they try to come off as the whole package, but in truth, they are a tale of two faces. They turn their bad behaviors on and off. They either bluff or bully their way through most crises. They have far too much inner presence and their biggest battle is figuring out how to center themselves.<\/p>\n<p>They want others to see them as all-powerful, but the hidden truth is that they often have low self-esteem. They\u2019re easily bruised by criticism and howl at the moon in retaliation when they think they\u2019ve been wronged. They\u2019re so addicted to admiration that they get high on their own hype.<\/p>\n<p>Here are three quick tips to help you manage \u201c<em>The Egotist<\/em>\u201d in your life:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Don\u2019t \u201ccope with\u201d their behavior \u2013 manage it.<\/strong>\u00a0Coping and managing are two fundamentally different mindsets. Coping makes you a victim while managing puts you in control. Switch your mindset. Don\u2019t allow\u00a0<em>The Egotist<\/em>\u00a0to knock you off-center.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Focus on solutions, not problems.<\/strong>\u00a0When you explain a problem to an\u00a0<em>Egotist<\/em>, direct their attention to the solution. Don\u2019t let them dissect the problem over and over again. Narcissists love drama and revel in chaos. They\u2019re easily agitated when frustrated. Present possible solutions right away so they don\u2019t smell blood in the water, throw a hissy fit, and tear everything and everyone apart.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Manage their emotional blind spots.<\/strong>\u00a0<em>Egotists<\/em>\u00a0lack empathy. They\u2019re so caught up in their own world that it doesn\u2019t occur to them to consider your feelings or viewpoint. They have huge blind spots. If you want them to know how you feel, you\u2019re going to have to tell them. Just be smart about it; narcissists often pounce on you with criticism or guilt trips when you reveal your feelings.<\/p>\n<p>What I find most remarkable about Ariel Castro\u2019s story is that his three captives \u2013 Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight \u2013 have emerged from their decade of torture stronger than ever. As a brave, emboldened Knight declared in her impact statement in court to Castro, \u201cFrom this moment on, I will not let you define me or affect who I am.\u201d Knight says she wants to dedicate her life to helping abuse victims.<\/p>\n<p>Knight is a living, breathing example of\u00a0<em>centered inner presence<\/em>: being anchored in a purpose greater than yourself. Your purpose is your power. It helps you find and maintain your equilibrium. As I witness in the corporate world every day, centered inner presence is not a static goal that you achieve and put on auto-pilot \u2013 it\u2019s a perpetual relationship with yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Which is a far stronger bond than the off-centered Egotist has with him or herself. The way I see it, as long as they continue their bad behaviors, narcissists are living a life without parole.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The news is full of people who are full of themselves: Mayoral wanna-be and serial sexter Anthony Weiner, San Diego mayor and alleged serial pervert Bob Filner, sports legend and alleged performance enhancer Alex Rodriguez \u2026 and former bus driver-turned abuser&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5088,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[57,52,60],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The news is full of people who are full of themselves: Mayoral wanna-be and serial sexter Anthony Weiner, San Diego mayor and alleged serial pervert Bob Filner, sports legend and alleged performance enhancer Alex Rodriguez \u2026 and former bus driver-turned abuser...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Connie Dieken\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"860\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"430\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Connie Dieken\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Connie Dieken\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Connie Dieken\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e5dbe29cb8d0c89c506717ba29f0a179\"},\"headline\":\"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\"},\"wordCount\":731,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Books\",\"Leadership Influence\",\"The Real Deal\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\",\"name\":\"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg\",\"width\":860,\"height\":430},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/\",\"name\":\"Connie Dieken\",\"description\":\"Leadership Influence Expert\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Connie Dieken\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/1-conniedieken_logo-full-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/1-conniedieken_logo-full-1.png\",\"width\":813,\"height\":217,\"caption\":\"Connie Dieken\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e5dbe29cb8d0c89c506717ba29f0a179\",\"name\":\"Connie Dieken\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6f974237fe774f452e77253db24f1d3d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6f974237fe774f452e77253db24f1d3d?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Connie Dieken\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/author\/conniedieken\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken","og_description":"The news is full of people who are full of themselves: Mayoral wanna-be and serial sexter Anthony Weiner, San Diego mayor and alleged serial pervert Bob Filner, sports legend and alleged performance enhancer Alex Rodriguez \u2026 and former bus driver-turned abuser...","og_url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/","og_site_name":"Connie Dieken","article_published_time":"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00","og_image":[{"width":860,"height":430,"url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Connie Dieken","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Connie Dieken","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/"},"author":{"name":"Connie Dieken","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e5dbe29cb8d0c89c506717ba29f0a179"},"headline":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal","datePublished":"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00","dateModified":"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/"},"wordCount":731,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg","articleSection":["Books","Leadership Influence","The Real Deal"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/","url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/","name":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal - Connie Dieken","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg","datePublished":"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00","dateModified":"2013-08-02T20:43:10+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/article-general@2x.jpg","width":860,"height":430},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/narcissistic-nation-why-egotists-are-not-the-real-deal\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Narcissistic Nation: Why Egotists Are NOT the Real Deal"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/","name":"Connie Dieken","description":"Leadership Influence Expert","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#organization","name":"Connie Dieken","url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/1-conniedieken_logo-full-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/1-conniedieken_logo-full-1.png","width":813,"height":217,"caption":"Connie Dieken"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e5dbe29cb8d0c89c506717ba29f0a179","name":"Connie Dieken","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6f974237fe774f452e77253db24f1d3d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6f974237fe774f452e77253db24f1d3d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Connie Dieken"},"url":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/author\/conniedieken\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5137"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5088"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/conniedieken.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}